Everything You Ever Wanted is on the Other Side of Fear - Viola Davis

Growing up, I loved debating and I quite frankly, still do.

Most times, I made it to the top 3 debate finalists to be picked from school. When I was in JSS 2, we went to this big debate competition against different schools in Maitama.

The topic for debate was ‘Why private school is better than public school’ against three other schools and I was the second speaker for my school.

The session began, and I keenly listened to my opponents speak, highlighting their points and watching the judge's reactions. The finishing speaker from the first school was so confident and delivered valid points that at some point, I began to doubt my team’s stance in that debate.

I started doubting myself and got lost in my thoughts, thinking of how to tackle his points and the next thing I remember was the umpire signalling the second speaker from my school to come on stage. That was me!

Immediately, I froze, I could feel my teammate tapping me to take the mic, and it felt as if the ground should open and swallow me up because I had forgotten my main points.

For a brief second, I believed that my points would not make sense compared to what the last speaker from the other school just said; that singular thought made me lose confidence in myself and I became completely numb. 

I wanted to speak but the words were nowhere to be found. I became so scared of losing and embarrassing myself. The audience would laugh at me, how I go back to school after failing and disappointing everyone. Those were the thoughts running through my mind at that time.

I started stuttering, struggled to regain myself and managed to mumble out the remaining points I could grasp before passing the mic to the next speaker.

It was the worst day of my junior secondary year.

Although we came second in the debate, for the longest time, I would often ponder and recall that day; I could not shake off the plethora of what-ifs clouding my mind. What if I had not fumbled that debate, maybe we would have come first place, what if my school had spoken first and I didn’t forget my points, what if I completely believed in myself and delivered as expected, what if I had taken a chance on myself and wasn’t worried that my points would not match up on the same level as my opponent.

For the longest time, the fear of fumbling again and embarrassing myself resulted in many opportunity limitations at different phases of my life.

Have you ever wondered what keeps you from achieving your dreams and goals?

It is called FEAR, especially for the unknown and it is the biggest obstacle on our path to success.

The funny thing, when I returned home that day, I acted out the entire scenario and delivered my points effortlessly; I cried so hard for doubting myself, even if it was just for a minute because it cost me years of unanswered questions and doubts.

The Power of Overcoming Fear

Fear is a natural human emotion that paralyzes or propels us forward. 

It is a survival mechanism deeply rooted in our psyche. However, when fear becomes a barrier, it limits our growth and prevents us from taking risks which hinders our personal and professional growth. 

As an adult, I have made very conscious efforts to always take a chance on myself even if I would fail. Every failure was an experience and it came along with a lesson that needed to be learnt at that time to bring me to this stage in life. 

Whenever I am in doubt, I remind myself of the emotions I felt that day and those emotions now fuel my zeal to take a step further regardless of the outcome.

By facing our fears head-on, we can unlock limitless opportunities, grow beyond our comfort zones, and pave the path for personal transformation.

Understanding Fear and Its Impact

But you would ask, how exactly can I conquer fear? 

What steps can I take to overcome the limitations it imposes on me?

Here are some practical strategies and actionable tips to help you navigate this emotion called fear.

• The Psychology of Fear: You need to identify the reason why you are feeling that emotion and seek to understand how it affects your decision-making process.
• The Paradox of Comfort Zones: Know your comfort zone trap and how it limits your personal growth and development. If you become too comfortable where you are, how would you grow?
• Address Your Fear: Fear plays a major role in the impact of your success. You can search for examples of inspiring individuals who overcame their fears to achieve greatness and find ways to incorporate their techniques into your life. Face your fears one step at a time. Another trick I like to use  is practice + practice = results.

Strategies to Overcome Fear

• Recognize and Acknowledge Your Fears: This is the most crucial step; stop ignoring your fears and weaknesses. You need to be honest with yourself first to identify and acknowledge your fears. Understand your main cause and know what your triggers are.
• Embrace Vulnerability: It is important to thoroughly evaluate yourself and be completely self-aware to step outside your comfort zone, irrespective of the outcome. You are human and no one is perfect, never forget that.
• Cultivate a Growth Mindset: You have to build and equip your mind. This is a crucial aspect of overcoming your fears. The power of having a growth mindset is to face challenges head-on and capitalize on transforming that emotion into an opportunity for you.

Actionable Tips for Embracing the Unknown

• Start Small and Set Attainable Goals: Break big challenges into smaller, manageable steps to build confidence and momentum.
• Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Be self-aware at all times, take personal time off to introspect your life, meditate, read, and journal during your non-verbal periods.
• Find Support and Accountability: There is immeasurable value in surrounding yourself with a supportive network, mentorship or friends. It is very important to have this in your corner when tackling your fears. There is strength in belonging to a community, draw from it and speak to someone about your challenges.

In a world of uncertainties, one thing remains true: everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear - Viola Davis.

The power to transform your life lies in conquering your fears and embracing the unknown.

The COVID-19 pandemic has reshaped our relationship with fear and the opportunities it presents for personal growth.

In a post-pandemic world, the importance of personal growth and resilience has become more evident than ever. The global crisis has shattered many comfort zones but has also given us an opportunity for introspection and self-discovery. 

For many of us, fear is a major player limiting our success; I urge you to rebuild your lives regardless of your life stage, invest in your personal development, embrace a new normal, and pursue your dreams.

One industry that has embraced the digital trend to empower individuals and provide tools for personal growth is online education. 

With the rise of e-learning platforms and virtual classrooms, you have access to an ocean of educational resources that can enable you to develop new skills, overcome your fears, and pursue your passions. 

These platforms have impacted my life; their resources have provided new perspectives and some level of answers to all my what-ifs resulting in the birth of a healed version of myself who isn’t scared to express herself and believes in herself wholly. 

Platforms, such as CouseraCoursera, LinkedIn LearningLinkedin Learning, and UdemyUdemy offer courses and programs specifically designed to address personal development, mindset shifts, and goal achievement, tapping into the growing demand for self-improvement in the digital era.

I must tell you, the journey to overcoming fear is deeply personal, you cannot have it if you do not want it as much. It holds tremendous potential for growth, empowerment, and realization of your dreams.

When you embrace the journey to overcoming your fear, you open doors to a life filled with fulfilment, development, and success.

I completely agree with Viola's statement; we must always remember that everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. 

Step out of your comfort zone today, face your fears, avoid regrets and embrace the unknown. What's the worst that can happen?

By acknowledging that everything we ever wanted is on the other side of fear, we can embark on a path of personal development and embrace a life of fulfillment and success. 

Let this blog be your guide and companion as you navigate the challenges, face your fears, and unlock your full potential.

Remember, taking that first step is the only way to discover what lies beyond fear.

Disclaimer: This blog is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice.